Medicines and Miracles 6
Walking over the ledge on the
ninth floor balcony, Mehr could see her cherry red painted toe nails and the
bandage she was wearing since the accident. Intrusive thoughts were flooding
her mind. She was balancing herself on the 8 inch ledge wall but part of her
brain wanted her to try flail her feet in the air, outside the ledge wall and
into nothing. Part of her wanted to consider the idea, knowing aptly well that
doing so would cause her to lose her balance and free fall into the dense abyss
of nothingness that lay below.
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Wait a minute, she knew this
balcony and had been watching the view that lay ahead for quite a while now.
There is concrete flooring at the bottom, and ideally a free fall from a nine
storied building should break her skull open like a ripe watermelon. There was
no abyss, Mehr shook her head in disbelief only to wake up panting in sweat.
*3:30 am*
She checked her phone, it was in
the middle of the night, she had woken up in her bed. This was scary. She was
trembling with fear, she was not suicidal and even if she did plan to end her
life, she would want to give it a better and more beautiful ending than have
her skull prove the existence of gravitation force. Taking in another melatonin
tablet, she forced herself into a dreamless sleep.
NEXT MORNING
Work was the usual, basic gossip and chatter around the
floor. Mehr had forgotten about her nightmare in totality and went about her
work.
“Man, I need a break” Kshitij sighed. Look at the lovely weather outside. Inni
pyaari halki barish, dekh k dil khush ho "gya yaar mera.” He looked
outside the window with longing eyes.
“Nooooo, I’m not taking another break. I’ve already taken 3 breaks since the
morning” Ruchi exclaimed.
“You’re stressing out over what now?” Mehr raised an eyebrow. (She knew pretty
well, Ruchi would have another plausible excuse to defend herself)
“No yaar, I am following through on my pledge. I am
resorting to stress eating now.” Ruchi smiled guiltily with a hint of pride.
“Let’s go to the balcony on the backside of ninth floor. It
is a peaceful spot.” Suggested Sayan.
“Ye thik hai. No smoke no stress
eating. Hum kabootar dekhenge.” Mehr squealed.
At the top balcony, on the terrace, Ruchi took to the extreme corner and peered
at each of the terrace in her view. Each had a different layout and setup. Some
had pickle jars set to sun, others were lined with laundry while children
snickered around to play hide and seek on another one. It was a fun way to
forget her work stress for a while. Sayan took a seat on the staircase leading
to the terrace doorway, which was usually kept locked. Kshitij couldn’t help
looking at Mehr who was seemingly lost in thought. He had heard stories of
people who had visited 913 and were rendered crazy or spiralled into a weird
form of depression where all they talked about was of bizarre ways to end their
life. As much as he struggled to figure out why he cared for her so much, he
was sure he wanted to prevent anything bad from happening to her.
Stepping closer to the ledge, parallel to Ruchi, Mehr took
one glance at the view below and instantly remembered her nightmare. She was
dead sure she had never, ever climbed onto the ledge. Let alone walking bare
feet over it. But her toenails were painted cherry red and the rainy weather
did diminish the view below into that of darkness. She wanted to speak up about
her dream from last night, of how she knew what it looked like to have the
elevated view and float her feet around in the cool air. But she stopped before
uttering any words, she couldn’t tell her new workbuddies, people she barely
knew of thoughts so intrusive that it would make them doubt her basic sanity.
“Tum kuchh keh ri ho” Kshitij asked Mehr.
“Nai to” Mehr was conscious, she hadn’t uttered a sound yet.
“Soch rahi thi bas” Mehr had a confused look about her face now. How did
Kshitij know she wanted to say something?
“To bolo, kya soch rahi thi” Sayan smirked. Curious as to what was Mehr
thinking that made Kshitij curious enough. Filmy chap he was,
“Nothing re. Fizool baatein” Mehr wanted to change the
topic. Self harm and picturising one’s end of life were not things to discuss
on breaks with new acquaintances. “Silly shenanigans from college days”
“Life was soo different back then” Ruchi chimed in with a
philosophical gaze turned towards the sky. Then said “Ye ullu ka pattha
kabootar barish mein bhi udne nikla hua hai saala!” in the same breath.
Now everyone turned to look at Ruchi, this was a rather absurd yet funny
observation she had made. Everyone giggled. It was a rather peculiar day, with
some very peculiar people in a single place. But this was fun, and life was
good. Mehr trudged back to her workstation, not knowing she was being followed
by Khitij’s gaze. Skeptical by nature, he was still stuck back on what Mehr was
thinking and why her face lost all color when she looked down at the beautiful
view she usually loved, outside the ninth floor balcony.
Part 5
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