The Man with no Tie 4

 Boundaries are good, they help you know where you stand and where you are headed. 

Work is always work, and nothing can be more importan than family. I moved back to my hometown after almost two years. Moving out does change you as a person, your own home feels like alien soil with fond memories and new changes forever battling in your head. Your ow family has become used to of not having you around, that getting back together takes some amount of effort and adjustment. 

"You have been doing things your way for far too long" Baba scolded me

"Ya but, tell me one person you feel confident about" I answered back.

 Indian parents and their obsession with getting their daughters married is such a fiasco. Not that I do not want the same, but with the right kinda guy, you know what I mean. . . .

*Phone rings*

"Ae Bannerjee! How's it going?" 

"Hey, just a sec haan" I held my phone to my neck, and gestured baba to wrap up the sunday marathon of rishtas. "Baba wrap this up, shortlist on your own first. Or tell me which ones you like"

"Ae tu kya baat kar ri hai?"
"Tu to set ho gya, aunty ki mehrbaani. I am stuck with maa-baba and their weekly rishta marathons."

"Oh your friends are also married now" Maa looked up at me all excited with a taunt coming any second

"Arey yaar. Anyway, what is the deal. Why you called?" 
"Cmon, be nice to me atleast"
"Why, what have you done? Meghan Markle had her friends intrducing her to a Prince. A legit Prince, and then there is you. No use fellow" I chuckled in a joking manner.

"Bro you are good on your own, you don't need no wingman. Achha back to business, I wanted to invite you. It's my anniversary, and we are having a baby shower too. So a little get together for close friends and family, and you are coming." Whoa! That is news. 

I could not be happier, my friend not only got married, he was also having a baby. This guy, who drafts an important equipment design at the back of a napkin and then forgets where he dumped it, is now gonna be responsible for a whole child. Composing myself the best I could I went back to the conversation. 

"OMG, so I can go ahead and buy cute little onesies, Imma be an aunt soon" Maa Baba looked at me with disapproval. 
 The just could not accept that they were no where near a son-in-law and people around them were getting grandchilds. Talk about comparsion being a theif of joy. 

"I think I will hang up on you now, congrats for the baby and upcoming anniversary" "Toodaloos"
"Make sure you make time, I will send out the invites with details soon"
"Haan okay Bye."
Back to my un ending Sunday, that had only started, I got dressed in a rush, Mr. No Tie is in town planning a meet up, but not over an event or work discussion. This was new.

"So we meet again, ahaan" I laughed.

We chose to catch up at The Lodhi, with it's vast courtyard and open space to choose for dining, it was the perfect place for a lazy Sunday. The food was amazing and so was my company. I still could not comprehend, why we would even hangout, talk about people putting their crushes on high pedestials. Oooofff!!!

"Yes we do, why do you sound surprised. Can't a guy make time for a pretty girl" He smiled. 

Okay, pretty, me, this sounds great. I better not forget to speak dear god.

 

"Uhm, ahaan. Thanks. . . for the compliment. . . . . but I aint no girl, I am too old now. . . . . and you, , . . .  you are pretty too." Okay I was flustered. 

Okay let's be normal and funny as usual.

"I like how kind your words are, and how thoughtfully you appreciate everything around you. It's a beautiful way of seeing things I must say." He was being genuinely appreciative.

"All you need is a fresh perspective in life. Been far too long that you have been lost in profits and losses."

"But some caution is required in life always", came his calculative, pragmatic consideration. 

"Not in everything. Throw caution to wind when it comes to love, a ship is safe in the harbour. But do you want a safe ship or you want a great voyage" I looked at him in all earnesty. Philosophy of life is something I took great fondness to, owing to the cultivated habit of reading poetry with Maa-Baba.

He looked at me with looming questions in his eyes. Not sure what went in his mind. 

Damn this girl and her twinkling eyes. Questioning everything like a child, she's definitely something. 

"So you are saying, I should not be careful with my heart? Or I should not permit myself some ecstasy?" He asked his question with confidence, and my brain was pushed into fun mode.

"Sauda khara khara" I mimiced the dance move. "Deal with caution, love with honesty. Mix the two and you lose in life" I tipped my raspberry soda as if it were a celebratory champagne flute. 

Life is too short to explain to everyman what should or should not be done. Just stay away and be happy. 

"Well, what if it is not as simple. Everything in life follows a process, takes time and requires effort. I wish to be honest with you, respect our personal space and build something special" He sounded serious, and his face agreed. The honesty of his eyes was back, after the little moment of funny one liners. 

I honestly would have spit out my drink, but instead choked a little. Coughing badly, for it was after months, actually no, years of being in the dating pool that I had heard a man suggest to follow and actually show intent in his words to follow the basic human etiquettes of respecting and making efforts in a relationship. Could someone slapp me if this was a dream?

Helping me relax with the coughing, he sat me down for a proper conversation. Jokes apart, this was potential sauda and he wanted to make sure everything was balanced right. Afterall, you do not hurt the people you like. Efforts would need to be mutual, given the distance and messed up schedules, not to forget responsibilities. God, it was quite a discourse, we spent the entire day around the courtyard, finishing up the meal, our flow of words did not hault. We walked through the spacious greens of Lodhi Garden, along the bridge and the duckpond, feeding birds with the sprouted chana-dal mix we bought along the way. It was a beautiful Sunday, giving hopes for many more such days ahead.

Modern day relationships cannot be run with age old formulas of making good food, I could make good food, that was not the problem. Problem was neither of us, rather our life and all the decisions of our respective lives that had lead us to where we stood. Neither of us could just drop everything, those days are gone. Now people take time, understand, check compatibility and vibe together, among other things. 

Bidding farewell, we parted ways. Him back to his hotel, me to my home. A big grin on both our faces. This was feeling like a new start for sure. Our conversations were only beginning, and god knows where they may head. Setting a parameter and expectations definitely helped us both consider our next steps. 

Although, if Maa Baba heard of the level of complex thinking we both were using, they could collectively diss it saying - "Had we taken all that time and planning, you and your 3 siblings would not even have existed". As loving as they may be, they do not need to know everything as yet.

 As for Mr. No Tie, maybe I can teach him to tie a tie when we are together.

Main aur mere mehngey Khwaab.