Transgressions

 Transgressions

There are lines in every human relationship, and some lines should never be crossed. Drawing boundaries is one way to protect your lines, for transgression scan leave deep scars.

"So Aayat, i don't see you talking to Vinay as much as you used to." 

"I don't have much reason to" Aayat shrugged.

Rhea may be the cool and chill person, but she was one hell of an observer. It won't be easy to get her off her back.

"Well, you guys seemed pretty close initially, now it seems like the spark has faded." Rhea looked at Rhea, now a little more directly.

"Well you know, it's the usual. I appreciate friendships and concern, but i do not like it anytime someone gets too possesive". Aayat shrugged.

"Hmm, I can understand,. . . .. . You were a tough nut in our initial conversation. I gave you time to open up too, figuring that too much would actually push you away." Rhea pondered, cradling her drink.

Aayat could not help her thoughts race back to the time Vinay almost threatened her, after he saw her speaking with someone. She couldn't tell Rhea of the time when he pinned her against the wall either because she had joked about him being her gay-best-friend or because he genuinely liked her. The fear was too real and either which way, both the emotions were unwarranted and definitely did not deserve a physical reaction on his part. Shaking away those thoughts, Aayat pulled herself back to the present.

"So you tell me, what's new. Work will never end, but girl time and chill scenes." Aayat raised a toast in the air. She was happy living his new life, away from her small town, with a zillion restrictions and a gazillion stares around the smallest acts of defiance.

"Aren't you hot in that scarf? I can barely wear pants after work. How are you keeping this on" Rhea asked. 

"Aadat ho gyi hai yaar, iske bina ajeeb lagta hai. Waise i can take it off here, now that it's just us girls." Aayat giggled, as if she was about to reveal a big secret. No one in her family knew she has colored her hair ombre green, since her scarf protected her and being all the way in a different city meant less interaction with family.

"So why did you think, there even was a spark between Vinay and me?" Aayat made a sour face. While she did share a good equation with the guy, she saw him as a friend, with whom at one point she thought she shared a gay-best-friend vibe. Which she now feared, she had said too soon, for the guy had taken it as a challenge. Not everything needs to be proven right or wrong, some things can simply be accepted or rejected even. But it was too late now, for Aayat now had a speck of doubt against his friendship and goodwill and no amount of bonding time could change that.

"Earth to Aayat, Earth to Aayat", Rhea snapped her fingers. 

"So as I was saying, you guys used to talk alot, and now you don't. It is a visible scale down of quality time, and your fights seem less of a friendly banter, given the intense heat and palpable tension. So I asked.. . . . . . . . . . . ..Easy" Rhea smiled, shrugging her shoulders. 

"Because, now I speak to so many other people, including the very famous Miss Rhea the ponderer, so the time has been preferentially rationed and I am glad to have your company. Easy" Aayat dodged her way diplomatically. 

Filling up another round, she and Rhea sat next to each other facing the wide facade outside their hotel room balcony. The view was spectacular, the vista was lit up in fairy lights ahead of Diwali. The night sky was pitch black with starks sprinkled generously. Perks of being away from the megacity was the clear skies that gave clearer views of what lay above and a break from the city life let them see simpler lives being lived with humility. The countryside may not have swanky offices and 

Thinking about an old flame, Rhea started to speak of a fun day, when she was all of a sudden overcome by the urge to throw up. Leaving her glass on the side table in a hurry, she rushed to the sink and barfed up with all her might. Aayat wanted to guide her the commode, but it was too late now. Nothing bonds two humans, especially women as much as shared misery. Aayat held Rhea's hair while she barfed into the sink. Using her hair tie that she had left on her wrist, she tied up her hair into a bun, and rushed back to the room to fetch a water bottle. With an awkward silence, the two looked at each other and nodded, as if an agreement was made. Following which they both laughed like toddlers on a sugar rush. This was possibly the most fun they had ever had, with each other.

"Crap, i should be embarassed. But I feel so much lighter" Rhea couldn't help remark.

"It's okay, i was barfing like a cow the first time you visited my room back on our first work tour" Aayat said casually as she took another sip of her drink. Like she hadn't just stood next to someone throwing up a minute ago. 

"You're crazy" Rhea smiled. She was good at reading people, and this one was a weird kind of crazy, she admired it.

"I've been called worse, and besides, all genius is a little crazy" Aayat sat proudly as she downed the last sip of her drink while offering Rhea more water. 

"Now back to Vinay." Rhea was analytical, and she wanted to validate her theory. She knew something was fishy and Vinay wouldn't break. So what was it, and how could she get Aayat to speak even if she did know something.

"What about him? He's inconsequential", Aayat swatted her hands at the mention of his name, the person had created too many images for her in a short span that she knew she did not want to trust him, no matter what. 

"Rhea raised an eyebrow, why would you say so?" She asked Aayat.

"Like I said, i do not like people getting possesive. There have been a few instances where, the said person tried crossing lines. If you're friends with me, be that. I won't ask, nor tell you whom to talk to or stay away from. Hell, my parents never did that. Who's he to tell me off" Aayat was flairing up, partly due to the alcohol running in her system was Rhea's guess. Little did she know, there were other incidents which Aayat would not speak about, atleast not today. But, they did play on her mind on loop, and she did need help getting those out of her system.

"Shaant lady Bheem, shaant! you both are pretty explosive". Rhea was able to bring Aayat to her senses. As she did, she did pitch in with her two cents, validating her point.

 Somehow it was a universal thing, women from all backgrounds had faced at some point in their lives where males just assumed the right to tell them when to speak, whom to socialize with and what not. As if they were their property, or material possesion to control, and boss around. 

"Like hell, i know it is not cool. But Aayat, you need to speak up na. I give away the gifts with thanks as and when they come. Main rakhti nahi kuchh bhi. Chaar aur suna k wapas deti hu, koi zada gyaan de to. Tum sunn leti ho, bas yehi khami hai" Rhea was sympathetic here. She understood people and dealt with them the way she deemed fit. Never more, nor less, kept the perfect balance of sugar and spice.

 

It was poor Aayat, she felt, was stuck people pleasing and doing the everything-nice act that left her in messy situations. Like identifies like, and she could see that people pleasing trait coming in from somewhere distant. While a social entrepreneur now, Rhea had trained in applied psychology and knew how to read people better than books. These transgressions of the Indian woman were nothing new to her and the Vinay topic was now a shut case. Rhea did not want to know why or how much he had bossed Aayat or hurt her fragile sentiments, which coming from an orthodox family were already wounded. Everyone deserved a break, and Aayat had anyway earned her respect with the little act of bravery. Rhea knew she would have walked away had someone else made such a mess in front of her, let alone holding them safe and still sitting around to finish a drink around them. The level of gross which was mostly expected from mothers and caregivers, being knee deep in mess and still being calm. Rhea would not and she appreciated this mini gesture. Human nature was hard to read, but no less of fun anyday. Each one showing so many sides, when given a chance, and Rhea was a patient explorer.