And a Tear escaped

This could be a sign of undiagnosed depression Mehr. Vivaan casually told Mehr as she lay in bed trying to put into words what she had last night been unable to describe.

"Nonsense, I'm alright Vivaan there is nothing to worry and I am completely fine." Mehr protested as Vivaan tried to caress her to sleep. 

Vivaan was genuinely worried, given how she had clung onto him the previous night at three in the morning trying to say something and failing badly, like a child left in a dark room for the first time.

"How about you try telling me what you saw?" Vivaan coaxed Mehr gently, being extra careful not to push her buttons in anyway.

"Promise you won't make any further comments and just listen?" Mehr cupped his face in her hands.

"Okay babe, promise". Vivaan kissed her hand softly and nodded in agreement.

So what I recall is seeing this old alley way from my childhood. It used to be near my house. I used to run around there as a kid. It was all just like it used to be during my childhood, and yet completely different. There used to be a big house at the end of that alley, and behind that, there used to be a mini canal coming from the yamuna river that used to be visible. 

"It has now been converted to a highway though under the NOIDA development project. " Mehr started rambling about the development in the recent past, not realising she was switching tracks like she often did while telling a story, or any story for that matter.

(Mehr was losing track and Vivaan rolling his eyes brought her back to the narration). 

So anyway, there instead of the house which was usually there, stood a small room sized structure. It seemed small, like a 8X10 ish space which had a wooden door which was, locked. Then, someone told me I need to wait there in that particular room, because my grandmother passed away. 

"That doesn't make much sense though," Mehr pointed out observantly in an apologetic tone.

I mean weird way to break the news, weirder was the fact that I used a hooked knife to gain access  to the room. And that knife was possibly handed over to me by my sibling who I haven't seen in over a month, and only caught a slight glimpse of. Inside the room like space, it was rather big. Taking a seat on a large old fashioned brown sued sofa, I kept trying to make sense of the news that had just been delivered to me. My grandmother passed away more than a decade ago, and I tried to get out of the chair when this other girl I know came to me saying,-"yes she died long ago, but now she's leaving for good". 

I did not know what sense to make of it, and I tried distracting myself, pressing a lock of hair between my fingers and twirling it around my fingers, I tried my best to distract my brain. I tried to keep myself calm,to the best of my ability, but then a wave of grief , actually more like a tsunami knocked me over. My limbs felt weak and my voice quivered, somehow I just concluded that while I was able to sense her presence around me every once in a while in my dreams or right before waking up, possibly this was an unceremonious goodbye from her spirit, telling me that now I am on my own for good. It just didn't feel right, and i was overwhelmed. 

Every fibre of my being ached badly and I burst out bawling like a baby who lost their pacifier. Crying hard, just like the day when she had left me all those years ago I wanted to shreik. Waking up I felt the wetness of the tear that had escaped my eye, making me realise how real that wave of grief was. And that's when I woke up, and hugged you like a baby monkey. Mehr looked up at Vihaan, while nuzzling her head against his neck. 

As much as Vivaan had wanted to know, he now wished he hadn't asked. He could see how sensitive she was about certain things, especially her sleep/ dream state emotions. The only time this hardass bosslady of his was weak was when she woke up from a bad dream. He felt concerned about this aspect of hers. Fighting aliens and kissing popstars was his kind of dream problems- unreal and easy to brush off. That was not the case with Mehr, he had learnt. Not giving any of his skepticism away, Vivaan made a mental note of consulting a therapist anyway, just to make sure Mehr was okay. 

He gave her a goodnight kiss on the forehead and pulled her closer in his embrace, something he knew she liked when he did to her. He let her drift into a peaceful sleep as he stayed up hearing her peaceful breathing against his neck. She was weird, his kind of weird. He smiled to himself and drifted into sleep himself.