The end is near
It was only yesterday I was gross and messy and high on sugar. So when did it all slip through? When did I let go of myself so easily, that I did not realise time had caught up with me in the race. I sat with a dazed expression all over my face, all my senses trying their best to focus towards one goal, fetching the answer to the question mark that was forming and looping around like a 90’s screensaver.
“You good?”
“Yeah. I’m fine Ma I’m fine” I forced a smile
“You definitely don’t look good”
“Cuz I’m not” I gave in exasperated.
“I finally see the signs dadda”, “It is everywhere”. [By now Ruhani was ominous and disturbing]
“Hon, what is everywhere?”, “Phirse koi nayi series k episodes khatam ho gye ya novel mei koi marr gya” [By now Mrs. Sriwena had become wary of her daughter’s sudden shift of moods and the usual reasons for the same]
“Ma, I’m not kidding okay. Back then with Lucifer, it all made so much of sense. The chaos in the world and the fact that God had taken up retiremwnt elsewhere and left the devil in charge of the world. No wonder there has been a surge in chaotic energy on a global level”.
“Log pareshaan hotey hain unke bachche party kartey hain, ghumtey hain. Ek meri aulaad hai jo books aur series mei ghus k dimaagh apna to sadaati hai, mera bhi”, “Why could I not have bratty kids like everyone else oh Ganesa?” [Mrs Sriwena raised her hands feigning despair, she loved the drama her kids put up after ending every new book or series whichever they had picked up now]
“Maa! Even if I were bratty or outgoing you would have been cursing Ganesa for a different kind of kid. So difficult to satisfy you are”. “Plus I wonder how you would react to men showing up at our door at ungodly hours” [Ruhi smirked]
“The only men showing up at our door at ungodly hours are poor delivery boys of swiggy and zomato you torture with your orders”
“Touch`e” [Ruhi accepted defeated while Ma did her airguns pose]
Unknown to Ruhi, Ma left a text with her brother to get in touch. These siblings had become less of a headache since they started living apart. Ma could still recall the many times they would be fighting like cats and dogs over silly shares of chocolates, or for a turn on dropping the coin in the milk vending machine. How time flies away so fast. Now Ruhaan was in Scotland for work while Ruhani was on work from home.
*Phone chimes*
“Sup Ruhi”
“Don’t sup Ruhi me. Ruhani Ji kehne ki aadat daal le”
“WHAT? WHY?”
*Phone rings*
“Tu kya collectarni ban rahi hai jile ki jo Ruhani Ji kahenge hum”
“Nahi re, I’m getting old na” Ruhi sighed
“Tujhe pata hai na tu merse panch saal baad duniya mein aayi hai?” Ruhan chuckled.
“Par budhaapa mera aara hai na”, “Umar hai, meri jaldi beet rahi hai shayad”. Ruhi reasoned in a rather serious tone.
“Achha” Ruhan responded gravely, just to entertain his 23 year old sister’s oddly timed midlife crisis.
“Well, first I became an aunt thanks to my close friends and their lil ones” [She counted fingers as she went on]
“Hmmm. . . . “
“Phir I saw all these signs of early onset of my budhaapa, yaad hai maine bataya tha?”
“Kya?” [Ruhan was puzzled by now, too much thinking while in a different time zone, he had barely finished breakfast]
“Arey! Wo sabziyaan jinka naam humari dictionary mei MUJHE NAHI KHANA hua karta tha, not only do I recognize them, I also eat them without fuss”
“Hahahahahahahahah”, “Ye achha tha” [Ruhaan was now laughing]
“Aagey to sunn. . . . “ Ruhi paused him
“Sabse badi tragedy to last week hui, yaad hai I texted you, I AM GETTING OLD”
“Haan, tab kya hua? Kamar mei dard ya ghutno mein” [Ruhan was finding it difficult to hold in his laughter now]
“Maine Karele khaaye, imagine!! KARELE. Wo bhi apni marzi se, Ma did’nt have to force me or bribe me. Life mei pehli baari and i ate 3”
“Achhi baat hai you’re expanding your flavour palette, anyway you wanted to eat plant based”. [Ruhan reasoned with Ruhi]
“Haan, par aise koi. Aur ab to sab khatam ho gya, I’m telling you the end is near. Mera time aane wala hai. Aaj maine khud Karele khareede ghar k liye because they looked fresh and green”. [Ruhi could not stop talking, her train of thought had long left the station to realise her brother had set the phone on the top shelf of the fridge and was busy mixing himself a protein shake without even looking at her]
Ma had been eavesdropping on the conversation and now both mother and son were laughing away at the crisis Ruhi faced. She could not wrap her brain around the fact that she had slowly started appreciating green vegetables and what she considered her onset of oldage, if that even is a thing, was perhaps just the vanishing of her in attentional blindness. There was a time she could spot a gems or splash candy from afar, but possibly her choices had changed with time for the better and that was good change. Either way, the family had a good laugh and Ruhi a new perception to life, everyone wins.
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