Dynamite Dynamics - the first few years of our lives are believed to be of most importance, but is it limited to physical growth only?

 

Dynamite Dynamics

Relationships are dynamic and change with time. As people we grow with the experiences our life is enriched with and the same holds true for the relationships we hold dear. So why, is it that some relationships that seem so promising from the very start end up being explosive? Or others turn out so well even without a push, one may wonder.

The essence of management for these dynamics holds some very strong roots in our past.
Talking to an old friend after almost a decade, I realised she had been divorced. She talked about all her trauma from the past and how after multiple therapy sessions for her depression she now questions herself as to why she even stayed in a relationship like that.
She failed to come up with an answer for herself as to why she was bearing with the humiliation which she now feels disgusted with even to think about.
I asked her about her siblings, turns out she was the youngest among five of her parents children. Raised with simple values, and among siblings who were almost two decades older than her she was never the princess. Rather the butt of jokes and an overall meak child who handled chores whenever asked to by her elders.
While this was standard practice in her home, she did not realise how this personality she slowly but surely imbibed in her being day in and day out.
Asking about her ex-husband cleared the picture further. An only male raised with three other siblings, in an Indian household. Which meant he was showered with love, never refused for anything he wanted by parents or siblings. 

A perfect combination of over pampered narcissist clubbed with a validation seeker it became as the two tied the knot. One would never expect a No for an answer while the other did not know better than to say yes. It was probably many years before the needle broke the camel’s back and this friend decided to walk out of her marriage. Given the count of years of her therapy I believe it was not easy for either of the two and what seemed like a perfect combination of individuals in matrimony, morphed into an explosive concoction shattering families on either sides.

One must learn to set healthy boundaries in every relationship aspect of their lives, be it work, friends or even family. Every relationship we see around us as a young adult is what dictates our belief system as an adult.